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alcohell:

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i almost don’t want to click “view all 5 comments” and ruin the mystery of how spaghetti turned into that

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divinedorothy:

trying to think of unproblematic celebrities u like and you’re just sat there with a virtually empty piece of paper - you’ve written laverne cox down three times

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  • 1 day ago
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At the X Factor

toyota:

Simon: I wasnt expecting that

Me: *continues jacking off on the stage*

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horror movie opening scene

  • white girl:i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
  • white boy:come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
  • white girl:you're just trying to scare me.
  • white boy:lmao
  • they continue walking for a few seconds
  • *white couple hears noise*
  • white girl:babe what that??
  • white boy:i'll go investigate
  • *leaves her alone*
  • *choking noises*
  • white girl:zack!!!
  • white boy:ha ha just kidding!
  • white girl:asshole!
  • white boy:im just playin babe
  • white girl:that wasnt funny but ur still cute
  • *playful kiss*
  • *things turn sexy*
  • *hear noise*
  • white boy:i'll go investigate
  • *he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
  • *maybe a thud*
  • white girl:zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
  • *she walks and he dead*
  • white girl:ahhh!!
  • *killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
  • white girl:ahhh!!!
  • *white girl runs*
  • *dead end*
  • *hides*
  • *thinks she free n safe*
  • *guy catches her*
  • *cuts her*
  • *she dead*
  • opening title slashes across screen:BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D
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  • 2 days ago
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lady-socrates:

alongcameatom:

daintylolihime:

don’t insult your kids, it’s damaging and ruins their self esteem

don’t insult your kids, it’s damaging and ruins their self esteem

don’t insult your kids, it’s damaging and ruins their self esteem and makes you a shitty person

lets be honest here how many parents do you think are on tumblr? 

the question is: 

how many FUTURE parents are on tumblr? At least some, and then it matters

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  • 2 days ago
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  • me:i am unhappy
  • other people:there are people worse off than you
  • me:that's not how that works
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